"You are who your friends are"

Drawing: “Falling Down the Stairs to Save Time” by Sam Brown 

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                  What is a friendship?  If you define friendship, it is the state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment to a person or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; amnity; Kindly aid, help, assistance, unity, conformity, harmony, etc.  I bolded the last three words because when you are around someone for long periods of time you become close with one another.  You don’t find many people just spending time with people that they have nothing in common with.  Don’t get me wrong, all of us have friends that are complete opposites of us, but there is some common ground that unites us.

          The reason I am bringing this up is because of two things on my heart.  The first, being the popular belief that, “You are who your friends are,” and the second being “Be careful of how your friendship with others affects your life.”

          When you become a Christian you find that many things change in your life.  These changes don’t manifest because we are “made” to change.  It isn’t a rule book that you follow that states what you can and cannot do.  We have the Bible that tells you things that make you more Christ-like and the Holy Spirit will convict us of things that are not good for us, spiritually.  But, the changes in our lives are made because we want them to be.  We want that relationship with God and there is nothing in the world that we want to cause any kind of separation between ourselves and Christ.

          So, to get back on track, as Christians we should love everyone.  I talked about this in an earlier post.  However, just because we love everyone does not mean that where they are in their life is a place you need to be.  We should be encouragers, we should share the gospel, we should try to be an example to others; but, you have to make sure that you are not putting yourself in a situation, where your faith and beliefs are being compromised, because you feel you need to save them. 

          When we align ourselves with others, we become united and in sync with them.  Often times, we conform to the world around us.  We adapt to the circumstances and the situation, and we end up doing and acting un-Christian like.  2 Corinthians 6:14 states “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”  Typically, people think that this just applies to intimate relationships and marriage.  However, it also applies to friendships and acquaintances. Proverbs also has several scripture related to this:

          “A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26

          “A violent man entices his neighbor and leads him down a path that is not good.” Proverbs 16:29

          It is a good thing to be a light to the world.  It is good to be an example.  But, too often, we get sucked into their world as opposed to them being drawn into ours.  We should always be kind and courteous but we shouldn’t try to put ourselves in situations that could make us turn away from the Lord. 

          Human beings tend to group things.  It is our way.  We are a judgmental society and we like to see what we want to see, when we want to see it.  It’s the old saying about reading a book by its cover.  You can be completely innocent and leading a good life, with good character and morals, and you start associating with people doing ungodly things and you get grouped right in there with them.  It doesn’t matter what you say or do, perception is reality.  What they think they see is what matters to them.  We want to be a good witness for Christ to this world. 

          I was talking to my fiancé the other night and he told me a story.  A while back when he was a teenager he got into some trouble.  At this time, he wasn’t a Christian and he was not a part of a very wholesome group of people either.  His philosophy was to live life at what he considered it’s fullest.  He didn’t know God and he had never opened a Bible in his life. So, here he is, he has been arrested and taken to jail.  He gets there and he finds out that knows a few people, and they are all playing cards.  He wanted to get in on the game and they wouldn’t let him.  I guess they were having some type of competition and he got there too late to get in on it.  Kind of funny, if you look at it from a different perspective, got to jail too late to join a card game.  Well, he kept pestering them about playing and one of the guys said, “Go get you a Bible and read it.  You can play when we are done.”  Now my fiancé has a learning disability and is unable to read very well.  So, the idea of getting a Bible and reading it was comical to him.  Plus, he didn’t know anything about the Lord and at this time he didn’t want to.  He just knew that in the next couple of hours he was going to be going home, so he wasn’t trying to settle in with a good book. 

          He said that as he was sitting there he kept hearing this voice inside himself telling him, “You aren’t going anywhere.  You will be here for a while.”  Mike told me, “I just knew I was getting out.  I went to make my phone call and found out I wasn’t going anywhere.”  He said that he kept arguing with “himself” saying that he was going home.  When he finally accepted that he wasn’t going anywhere he went over to talk to an acquaintance that he knew from home and this man was reading his Bible.  Mike told me that he sat there with him for a little while and this man told him to go get a bible too.  Mike went and got a Bible, but he never opened it. 

          When it was time for everyone to go to sleep, he went into the cell and realized he had one to himself.  So, he set his Bible on the desk in the cell and got in the bed and went to sleep.  He told me that a couple of hours later he felt someone push his leg and heard, “Get up.”  Now, if you could have seen the look on Mike’s face as he was telling me this, it was filled with an awe and appreciation.  He told me that he sat straight up, scared out of his mind.  He looked around and no one was in the cell with him.  Okay ya’ll, he is in jail, at night, in a cell by himself and someone just pushed his leg and told him to get up.  I would have been scared out of my mind.  Mind you Mike was only eighteen or nineteen at the time and it was the first time he had ever been in trouble. 

          Seeing that no one was there he figured he just dreamed all of this out of fright and lay back down and closed his eyes.  A minute later something pushed his shoulder and said, “I told you to get up.”  Mike says at this point he is so scared that he is shaking.  He is looking around and no one is there.  Then he hears this voice, “Get up.  Go read your Bible” Mike says he started arguing with this voice.  “I don’t even know how to read. How am I supposed to read the Bible?” and on the inside he is telling himself I am delusional.  There is no way that some voice is talking to me.  He lies back down and closes his eyes.  The voice louder now tells him, “I said GET UP!”  Mike told me, “Babe, I covered my head with my blanket and was shaking so hard.”  Then the voice told him, “You better get up.  You don’t want me to come under that blanket. “Mike says he got up so fast he tripped on his blanket and about hit his head on the desk trying to get to his Bible. 

          But, still he argued with this voice, “Okay, I got my Bible.  What do you want me to do with it?  I can’t read.  How am I supposed to read this?”  He said the voice told him, “I will make you understand.  Do as I say and you will see.”  Mike told me that he sat down and started reading the Bible.  For the first time ever, he understood what he was reading.  He told me that he couldn’t stop reading it.  He became so on fire for Christ that he was telling everyone about it.  He stopped playing cards, he stopped cussing, and he was making a very big change.

          Then one day, another guy comes in and Mike sees something in this guy that reminded him of him, before he asked Christ to save him.  So he started hanging out with the guy, talking to him.  He was trying to bring him to Christ, but the reverse happened.  He started doing old habits trying to get the guy to come around and before he knew it he was back living like he was before.  He told me that he felt so ashamed that he had failed that it took him years to come back to God and try to live a better life. 

          My point is that he had this wonderful thing happen to him.  He actually hears the voice of God telling him to come to him and rest in him and he ended up back in the world. He chose to associate with people that wanted nothing to do with the gospel.  Not that it was the other person’s fault.  It just happens.  When we become slack in our beliefs we end up hurting ourselves.  We think we are making some difference and in some situations we are.  But, we have to be wary of the world. 

Food for thought:

Ø Be a Light not a shadow

Ø Choose your friends wisely

Ø Be in the world but not of this world

Ø Love everyone, but don’t think you can save everyone

Love in Christ,

 Kristine