Persistent Faith

At Church on Sunday, my pastor spoke something over our congregation that has stuck with me this week.  He said, " At some point in your life you just say: "I'm Done." " 

You wake up one morning and all the stress of your life is on your shoulders, your worries, your inadequacies, your weaknesses, and as you lay in your bed you think "God, I am done."  I am done with all of these things.  I have tried life on my own and here I am at your feet broken, bruised, and shattered by life and I am just done.

I needed to hear those words.  I needed to hear that I am not the only one that is struggling in my walk.  I needed to hear that even someone in ministry wakes up and has said He is done with the negative things in life.  It showed me that we as Christians are not perfect, but that we are loved by a perfect God.


Over six years ago, I was called into ministry.  I felt the tug at my heart and for a while I did okay.  Life took a complete shift for me and even though I know I was called I have spent these years feeling inadequate to fulfill that request for God.  How can an imperfect person like me minister to God's people in any way?

But, when I tell you that God has brought me through some of the most difficult times in my life, I am coming to realize that I am inadequate but the testimony life has created is a living testament to the love of God even for his imperfect people.  Through the struggles, through the pain, and through the heartache God continues to call my name.  He continues to stretch out his hand to me and to draw me close to him.  I've struggled.  I've fallen down dozens of times.  I have quit.  I have given up.  I have felt so low that the ground beneath my feet seemed to pull me in like quicksand.  And right there, in that pit of depression, and doubt God reached down and with the tiniest of effort pulled me out. Because no matter how far I wander, no matter how long I run... He is waiting patiently for me to answer the call He has on my life.

So, today I picked up a dusty book off my shelf.  The Battle Plan for Prayer by the Kendrick Brothers and barely 3 pages in I am hit with so many wonderful truths.

Psalm 65:2-3 from The Message Bible: You hear the prayer in it all.  We all arrive at  your doorstep sooner or later, loaded with guilt, Our sins too much for us-- but you  get rid  of them once and for all.

Father God, not only have I been needing your presence in my life, but I needed to hear your voice today.  You spoke to me so clearly through your Word and it resonates within me.  Continue to work in me.  Bring me closer to you through my prayers.  Create in me a clean heart and may your desires and your will for my life manifest itself so profoundly that it glorify You and You alone.  I take me out of it and I give myself over to your will for my life.
 In Jesus' name I pray,
 Amen